‘My Mother Said You Won’t Take in Life But Only Give’: Kiran Bedi on Her Success Mantra
At 71, Kiran Bedi is no stranger to a life well lived, embellished with achievements, personal sacrifices and the grit to take challenges head-on. The first woman to join the Indian Police Service and introduce sweeping prison reforms, Bedi credits her success to her parents who were the wind beneath her wings, allowing her to soar high in the male-dominated bastions of sports and policing. In an interview with Original Women Network (OWN), Bedi opens up on her struggles, how she overcame them and her mantra for success.
“My father and my mother were very positive thinkers. They were far ahead in time in grooming girls. They only talked about tennis and education… It was not a selfish living. It was a life of giving. My mother used to say, ‘you are not going to take in life, you’ll give’. At that time, dowry was an issue when women had to be given away. We were never talked about [being] given away. So, it was a very inspirational upbringing,” she says.
Talking about her formative years, the Puducherry L-G says her only plan was to add value to her day. “Before I owe anything to anybody, I owe a revaluation to myself. I want to feel proud of myself that I made my day worthwhile. That’s my only plan.” Bedi’s foray into policing is a testament to this.
“Ours was not a selfish living, it was a life of giving”
“When I was growing up, I did not know there were no woman police officers in the service. Even when I went to report to the academy of administration, they were shocked. They told me I was going to be the first woman [in the force]… That’s when I got a call from the government to say, ‘are you sure’. I was called back from Mussoorie to Delhi. [Then] Home minister KC Pant said, ‘Are you sure because we have no women and you know what it is’. I said ‘of course I understand it means hard work but that’s how my life has been’,” she adds.
While several accolades came her way, Bedi admits the multi-tasking was no piece of cake. But she has advice for women trying to juggle several responsibilities. “It is very simple. You cannot stretch 24 hours. You have to make those choices in those 24 hours. In those 24 hours, I was where I was needed the most. If I had to choose between two emergencies, I chose the one which needed me the most. Anything which I could delegate, I did.”
Bedi doesn’t forget to credit her parents for being her pillars of support and reminisces how she was always available for her daughter, even after a long day at work. “I was never backslapping and gossiping over dinners and if I had to be out for dinner and it was an essential one, I would say ‘Sir, can I get an early dinner. I have come here to pay my respect but sir I have to be back, my daughter is waiting’. I exercised a lot of personal discipline in social networking. I had the courage to say no. It was not anti-social. They knew she returns home for her daughter.”
“You cannot stretch 24 hours. You have to make those choices in those 24 hours.”
Not just others’ weddings and social events, Bedi herself was playing a tennis tournament till the eleventh hour on the day of her own wedding reception!
The former cop says she is a product of three P’s that have helped her navigate the most treacherous paths in life — Purpose, Priority and Persons. “My purpose is very clear; it is value addition. My priorities are absolutely clear… and then there are people. I don’t have any wrong person around me, either at home or professionally.”
To grab hold of a chance to interview Bedi and not get some pearls of wisdom from her would be a missed opportunity. So OWN asked the Puducherry L-G to share her message for women leaders. “Keep learning. Keep co-opting and keep being visible. [Whatever I do], I do out of a sense of belonging and also consciousness… For me, my time and my life are precious. I owe everything to it.”
The former cop says she is a product of three P’s that have helped her navigate the most treacherous paths in life — Purpose, Priority and Persons.
As Bedi prepares to sign off, we ask her the mantra for her inner strength which has helped her stand tall. “[There are] No skeletons in my cupboard. It’s a very transparent life; very value-based and simple. I have nothing to hide and I have nothing to be afraid of. When you have nothing to fear and you have an inner sense of security, you don’t want anything. I want no wealth, reward or material acquisition. I have my little and that’s enough for me,” says the former top cop.
Original Women Network is a platform powering women with inspiration and information to achieve their ambitions. This interview is part of the leadership talk series. You can watch the full interview here:
