Battling Covid-19 Blues? Here’s How You Can Balance the See-saw of Emotions
The year 2020 has been harrowing, to put it mildly. If you were lucky to escape the pandemic, there was no running away from the lockdown, which exacerbated the situation filled with disease, a sense of loss, anxiety and uncertainty. As you battle the virus as well as your inner demons, psychologist Astha Ahluwalia in a conversation with OWN tells us about the threat of overthinking, dealing with negativity and overcoming it as you stay ensconced in your Covid-19-fuelled bubble.
“In the last four months, as a practising psychologist, I have come across people feeling unhealthy, tired, fatigued, bored and anxious. I have caught myself overthinking too and got the same feedback from people. Many people complained about feeling fearful of the situation they are in. While there have been complaints of body aches and headaches, which are physical symptoms, there have also been complaints of relationship issues or not being able to maintain a healthy work-life balance. We are being bombarded not only with negative news around us but also with household chores, managing work and all the emotions and feelings that have come along with it. It indeed has been a very stressful time,” says Ahluwalia.
She adds that the feelings of negativity are triggered by the unhealthy and uncertain situations we are all a part of and “it is ok to feel all these emotions”.
Ahluwalia then moves to the talk of emotional balance. “The idea of emotional imbalance comes from two things. One, we feel emotionally imbalanced when we either try to avoid a natural emotion or feeling or when we get too attached to something. Avoiding a natural human feeling puts us in an uncomfortable situation. It’s a sense of denial and a denial is never correct.
“Getting too attached or harbouring a negative feeling can make us feel very restricted. It takes away from our rationality, it takes away from thinking constructively and positively. To maintain an emotional balance, it’s important to find the middle path.”
“We are being bombarded not only with negative news around us but also with household chores, managing work and managing all the emotions and feelings that have come along with it. It indeed has been a very stressful time.”
Ahluwalia then goes on to compare life to a see-saw. “We are going to feel all sorts of emotions… we are going to feel the whole range of sadness, anxiety, happiness, joy, anger and fatigue but none of it is permanent. The good news is that all our emotions are temporary. Having said that, I would also like to highlight that emotional balance is also not a static state. It is not a permanent state. When we see two children on a see-saw, it’s only for a very brief time that both of them are at an equilibrium. That is static. That is the perfect balance.”
So how does one deal with their myriad emotions? “What is important with emotions is to identify what you are feeling. When we look at regulating our emotions, two things are very important. The first is to maintain a good daily hygiene. In these uncertain times, there are some basics; sunlight, exercise, good food and good sleep. These are very basic and very important for all of us.
“The other thing is to divide a day into three parts. 8 hours + 8 hours + 8 hours of sleep, work or fulfilling your responsibilities and most importantly, relaxing, rejuvenating, connecting with your loved ones and taking time off for yourself. It is also important to divide our week into weekdays and weekends.”
What does Ahluwalia suggest as the way forward to not let the negativity get to you? Plan your weekends is her first suggestion. “It is important that we plan our weekends in a way that we experience the same joy, the same feeling that we did when things were normal. Second, it is important for all of us to restrict ourselves from the bombardment of negative news. Identify reliable and relevant resources to get information from; avoid using WhatsApp as a means to learn about what is happening around us. There’s too much going on and you don’t need to know all of that. These are things we need to do on a daily basis.”
But what about our emotions? “Our emotions are also fluctuating. So when you wake up in the morning, ask yourself: ‘How am I feeling today?’ Sometimes, we may not consciously know or identify how we are feeling but our body has a way of telling us how we are feeling. That little headache, the body ache, that funny feeling in your stomach, or maybe heaviness in your chest; all of these things are signs that there is something that needs to be addressed. Address those. Labelling our emotions and saying what we are feeling helps to reduce the emotional impact of any of these feelings, especially the negative feelings. When I say that I am sad, when I say that I am overwhelmed, I am acknowledging what I am feeling and hence, I am reducing the impact of that.”
She lists communication as another important aspect of maintaining an emotional balance. “Often, our emotions don’t happen on their own. They are triggered by situations, experiences or people. Now, when it comes to managing them, it is important to communicate how you are feeling, especially to those who may have triggered a certain emotion in you. When someone asks you, ‘how was your day’ and you had a really hectic or tiring day where your boss questioned you or you had an argument with a family member, it’s important to say, ‘Yes, it was stressful’. It is important to acknowledge and say ‘this is how I felt’. Acknowledging our emotions, communicating them to people that we care about and the people with whom we can share them is extremely important.”
As the self-imposed lockdown stretches, Ahluwalia says another aspect of emotion regulation is to remember that not all emotions can be eliminated. “Today, when there is so much negativity around us, it is okay for us to feel those negative emotions. However, we cannot undo them, and we cannot eliminate them. A process of emotionally balancing ourselves requires us to accept and allow us to feel those emotions, hence reducing them.”
In the end, the psychologist says one must not hesitate from seeking help when they are feeling overwhelmed, stressed or anxious. “These are uncertain times. These are times that requires kindness. These are times that require empathy and camaraderie. Be with yourself. Be with your loved ones and feel emotionally gratified.”
Original Women Network is a platform powering women with inspiration and information to achieve their ambitions. This interview is part of the Reboot series on mental health. You can watch the full interview here:
